How do you measure failure

This week has been filled with set backs in my personal life that emotionally took their toll on my running. I do my best to keep the two separate and not let them intermingle or affect me. My time out on the road, is for running and focusing on my task st hand, to complete the given workout.

It’s hard when your body lets you down. You see the spiral out of control happening and you know that the next workout is going to be tough. That was my past 48 hours. Systemic yeast is no joke and when it shows itself, I know I am going to hurt. Friday nights workout should have been a piece of cake(omg no more cake). Instead I warmed up, had a massive ugly cry, wiped my face dry and got back on the treadmill. 1 mile rolled into two, than three and finally my last mile. I finished, I felt like I failure, how could I not get thru my workout. Situations like this are tough for me. My reaction is to say fail and beat myself up for the next few days, my coach and family see it as a success, I pulled myself together and got it done. 

Mental breakdowns happen for me a lot! Workouts hurt and I am working hard and want to quit. These situations I default back to, "this is what makes Ultra runners" "get your shit together, finish this and be proud" Usually my legs begin to flow again, one foot in front of the other and we glide home. Knowing how to push thru these situations is key and I always try to end a workout with what I learned. 

I tend to see failure not success at the end of a hard run or race. Coming to terms with how it all played out takes me time to process and typically does turn around. My running coach is fabulous for pointing out the growth that I have made and honoring the fact that tomorrow we try again.